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First things first. Best advice is wait to date, 15 and under is just too young. Those years are about discovering who you are as a person first and gaining the maturity to handle the intensity of a relationship. The sooner you date the tougher it is to wait.

Attraction is a given but you must also realize there is an actual purpose to dating, yes a purpose. Does this person have characteristics that I am looking for in a future spouse. So if you are not ready to look for a future spouse and if you don't know what characteristics are important for you to have in a future spouse then well you guessed it, your not ready to date!

When you first begin a friendship or a romantic relationship, it takes time to know whether or not it will develop into real love. Real love takes time to grow, and this first stage is a time to explore the relationship to see if you are compatible with the person or not. There is no commitment at this first stage. You are simply gaining information and getting to know the person better. How do you do this? What kind of information will help guide your decision?

The following are some basic questions to ask yourself and the other person as you begin this journey of learning.

  • Is he or she committed to achieving his or her goals and dreams for the future?
  • What are your values?
  • Do you share similar values with him or her?
  • Do you like his or her friends?
  • Does your family like him or her?
  • What do they like or dislike?
  • Can you communicate with him or her about your values?
  • Can you talk to him or her about differences or problems when they arise?
  • Is he or she ever physically or emotionally abusive?
  • Does he or she use tobacco, alcohol, or other drugs?
  • If you have chosen abstinence, is he or she respectful of your decision?
  • Do you have fun with him or her?
  • Do you enjoy learning about his or her interests, likes, and dislikes?
  • Do you feel attracted to the whole person, or is the attraction only physical?
  • Do you enjoy spending time with him or her?
  • Is he or she someone you admire?
  • Can you be yourself with him or her?
  • Do you consider him or her mature or immature?

In order to answer the above questions, you will need to spend time together and establish open communication in the relationship. Think about how you would like to develop a current or potential relationship as you answer the following questions.

1. What are some ways you can spend time getting to know someone?

2. Can you think of some non-physical ways to express your feelings for someone in the first stage of a relationship?

3. Name three important things that you would like to find out about someone during this time.

Once you have determined that you want to be in a relationship with someone, you begin to know him or her on a deeper level. You discover true qualities and characteristics as you know him or her better. Sometimes, positive qualities which we at first thought were present, prove absent as you know this person better. In order to truly know a person, you have to be honest with yourself about what you see.

Many people feel stuck in a relationship after they have begun dating; they have already decided on this person and must stay together no matter what. But this second stage of the relationship is extremely important, because now that you are involved with the person on a closer level, you will begin to notice positive and negative qualities more.

As you get to know someone better, you will want to think about what you can and can't tolerate in a long-term relationship. If you are hoping to marry one day, you will also think about what habits you want to form in relationships now that may affect your ability to become or stay married later on in life. Remember physical attraction is only one part of true love. What attracts you?